dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
