someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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