Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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