Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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