I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize