Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
This house was built for laser tag.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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