wanna go halves on a baby?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
