i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
