I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
