Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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