Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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