I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
