Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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