Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
