Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
