I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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