stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
