I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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