3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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