I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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