I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
