he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
