Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
