I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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