i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
