if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
