the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
