If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
are you so shy because you have an std?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
