Fuck appropriateness.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize