dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
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