I just saw a hot homeless man
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
