She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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