O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize