You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
