member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
