singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
