my soul wont recognize me after tonight
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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