I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
