You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
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