She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
