She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize