Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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