I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
