I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
