Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
