girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize