Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
