Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
