The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
false alarm. still invincible.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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