I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
