why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
