No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
