i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
