It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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