I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I have fence marks all over my body
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
