thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
