The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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