I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
