How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
