used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize