Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I touched a dick in church today
dude. I can hear the air.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
