btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
