I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
