quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
