Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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