please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize