it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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