Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
