there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
