My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
