It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
