So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
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