I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
