"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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