WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
