they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
